


29. Well, what do you want to do?

by loumillerlesbian



Series: 100 ways to say I love you [8]
Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: Backstory, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Debbie loves Lou, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Lou loves cotton candy, Pre-Canon, some feels (tm) coming your way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 08:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15659445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loumillerlesbian/pseuds/loumillerlesbian
Summary: The first time Debbie notices, they’re in some tiny town just off the highway that promises a cheap motel bed and a gas station. Debbie doesn't ask.The second time it happens, they're moving into a bigger apartment. Debbie doesn't ask.The third time it happens, they're in Coney Island.Debbie decides she will ask.





	29. Well, what do you want to do?

**Author's Note:**

> thank you guys for all your lovely comments on the last few installments, y'all keep me going!  
> in case anyone cares, my timeline for this is: 1. 1997, 2. 1998, 3. 2000 (Lou and Debbie met in 1994)

The first time Debbie notices, they’re in some tiny town just off the highway that promises a cheap motel bed and a gas station. They stop for gas first, make sure they’re fit for a quick departure if the situation calls for it. Not that they’d pull a job in a place like this, but they like to be prepared. When they drive to the other end of town – who had the idea to build a motel there, and not closest to the highway, Debbie would like to know – it happens. Debbie is driving but they only pass one car and three pedestrians and when she hears the music and the voices and laughter, she knows why. There’s a fair in town, and as she attempts to catch a glimpse of it through the houses, her eyes land on Lou instead. Lou, who’s staring out the window, completely still.

When they arrive at the motel, Lou doesn’t hop out like she always does, and when Debbie walks around the car to check on her, she notices the far-away look in Lou’s eyes. She gently opens the door for Lou and taps her shoulder. It breaks Lou out of her trance and she gives Debbie a small smile, meant to reassure, but Debbie also notices the hidden ‘please don’t ask’ in those blue eyes that don’t seem to shine as brightly as usual. So she doesn't.

The second time it happens, they’re moving. They can finally afford a bigger apartment, one with two bedrooms and an actual living room and a kitchen that Lou fell in love with the moment she saw it.

After they had moved all their belongings, with a little help from Danny and Tammy, they sit on the kitchen floor, a bottle of champagne and empty take-out boxes between them, and Debbie pulls one of the moving boxes over from a few feet away. Lou watches her, curious as to what caught Debbie’s attention amidst their celebrations, as Debbie opens the box. She pulls out a photo album and smiles fondly as she holds it in her hands. The edges are a little worn and the sticker on the front has begun to peel off at one corner, but Debbie seems blissfully unaware.

She flips it open and Lou scoots closer on the floor, moves the take-out and the champagne out of her way and leans against Debbie, looking over her shoulder as Debbie flips through the pages. There’s pictures of Debbie as a baby, some family pictures Debbie quickly flips past. Then she starts talking, points at pictures, tells Lou about her first day in kindergarten, how fascinated she was by the animals at the zoo, how much she liked to climb the tree in their backyard, and Lou listens. She studies the photos, relishes the opportunity of hearing Debbie talk about her childhood, knows how much of a privilege it is to have Debbie share these happy memories with her.

Debbie enjoys sharing her stories as much as Lou seems to enjoy hearing them, and she likes the way Lou rests against her and the way her laughter shakes her entire body when Debbie has a particularly funny anecdote to tell.

But then, she flips the page again, and she feels Lou's laughter die down next to her.

It’s a picture of her at six years old, on a ride at Coney Island, flashing a wide grin at the camera with Danny next to her.

Next to her, Lou tenses, and when Debbie looks at her, there's that look in her eyes again. She seems absent, staring at the photograph, and almost completely unaware reaches out towards the page, tracing her fingers along the edges. A soft smile grazes Lou’s lips but it's bitter-sweet, the sadness in her eyes betraying her.

Debbie is about to open her mouth, to ask her about it, when Lou’s hand goes to the next page and flips it, hiding the picture.

It's her cue - don't ask. So she doesn't.

 

The third time it happens, they’re in Coney Island. Debbie decides to run a job on one of the casinos there, and Tammy argues that it's a bit low, but honestly, that's what they need. They’ve just gone big on robbing trucks at the Canadian border and need to lay low but Debbie can't sit still, so she plans something fun.

Fortunately, they’re not running the job yet. They’re checking out the location, making sure they have all exit points and dangers covered, but Lou is absent.

The second they arrive, pulling up on a parking lot near the amusement parks and getting out of the car, Lou seems quieter than usual, but Debbie doesn't think much of it. Not at first, anyways. She simply assumes Lou is focused, just like her.

But then, she starts explaining the details of the day's plan again, and she realizes Lou really isn’t focused. Not on what she should be focusing on, anyways. Because Lou is staring right past her, completely oblivious to what Debbie is saying, and when Debbie turns to see what caught Lou’s attention, there’s the first carousel, the music chiming and children laughing as they sit atop different wooden animals on the ride.

She turns back towards Lou, and then, she notices the look she knows by now. The sadness, the longing, written across Lou’s face. Lou doesn’t notice her noticing, so she makes the decision. She’ll ask.

 

She grabs Lou’s hand then, determined. “Come on.”

It snaps Lou out of her thoughts and she's too surprised to really protest, following Debbie as she tugs her through the crowd.

They make it past a few attractions before Lou stops them, tugging Debbie towards her. “Debbie, what are you doing?”

“ _We_ are going to get a something to sit somewhere and you’re going to tell me what's going on”, Debbie says, not allowing for protest, as she leads Lou through the crowds again, towards a pier.

When they find an empty bench, she gently but firmly tugs Lou down to sit next to her, and doesn't let go once she does. Their fingers intertwine almost automatically and Debbie has to hide the smile that creeps onto her face at the realization.

She gives Lou’s hand a gentle squeeze, a sign of reassurance for the both of them, and looks at her. “Do you wanna tell me what's going on?”

Lou shakes her head. “No, I mean - it's nothing”, she says, evading Debbie’s inquiring gaze. Debbie waits, not taking her eyes off Lou, hand in hers, silently urging her to tell her more.

Finally, Lou takes a deep breath and looks back at Debbie. “It’s pathetic, really”, she shrugs, but Debbie just keeps looking at her with those damned, deep brown eyes and a comforting smile on her face and Lou feels that wall crumble a little.

“It’s just, when I was a kid, my parents never let me go to a fair, or anything similar. I didn’t understand why, and I so desperately wanted to go, and then one year, my mom gave in - I think I was seven, maybe eight, and I…” she breaks off, looking out over the sea, searching for words. Debbie gives her another squeeze, and Lou turns back to her. The sad smile on her face is enough to shatter Debbie’s heart into a million pieces, but this isn't about her.

“I was the happiest girl in the world probably, that morning”, Lou brings out, and Debbie knows the ‘but’ is coming. She’s right.

“I couldn’t go on a lot of rides, we didn't have the money, but I was still so happy. I hadn't expected my mom to enjoy herself and honestly, I was glad she wasn't drinking. But then we came home, and my dad wasn't there, and I asked mom where he went, and she said he'd left, and I…”

Lou trails off again, her eyes slightly misty, her voice a little rougher than usual. She wasn't going to cry, not now, she tells herself, and smiles at Debbie when she feels her squeeze her hand more tightly.

“I asked her - I asked when he would come back”, Lou gulps, bitterness in her voice, shaking her head as she lets out a small chuckle that really sounds more like a huff.

“Lou”, Debbie tries, but she's cut off by Lou holding up her hand and shaking her head.

“It’s okay, Deb”, Lou says, and Debbie doesn't believe her one bit. “I’m over it. It's been thirty years and I’m over it.”

Debbie doesn't know whether she's trying to convince her or herself, but she isn't having it either way. “You should know that I’m not _that_ oblivious, honey”, she tells her, and cuts off Lou’s protests right away. “Nah, baby. Have you ever been to a fair again?”

She knows the answer, judging by Lou’s reaction to them, and is proven right once again when Lou tentatively shakes her head.

Debbie gets up then, suddenly, and with the hand that’s still intertwined with Lou’s, indicates for her to follow.

She leads her to a cotton candy truck, and when Debbie turns to Lou, the incredulous look on Lou's face makes her smile.

“Is strawberry alright?” she asks, and Lou looks like she just grew a second head.

“What? Debbie, what are you doing?”

“I’ll take that as a yes," Debbie shrugs, and turns to the vendor. “We’ll take a large one, strawberry flavor please.”

She begins to count out the money and feels Lou’s hand on her arm but she doesn’t stop, only shakes her head at Lou and gives her a reassuring smile.

The vendor hands her the stick and she passes it to Lou, who takes it hesitantly and not without giving her another weird look, before Debbie pays.

“What are you doing?” Lou repeats, turning away from the truck and beginning to walk with Debbie’s hand in hers again, leading the way.

“I’ve read somewhere that the best way to get over bad memories is to replace them with better ones," Debbie says.

“What about the job?” Lou asks, and Debbie shrugs.

“The job can wait. You’re more important than a job," she tells her, and Lou’s expression of confusion softens into a small smile. They come towards a map of the park, and Debbie tugs her towards it. “Well, what do you want to do?”

 

That’s how two thirty year-olds end up on a children's carousel, somehow both fitting on the same seat (and honestly, Debbie is amazed it doesn't break under them), with Debbie’s arms wrapped around Lou from behind, her head on her shoulder. She’s nuzzling Lou’s neck as Lou smiles, still a little hesitant about the entire situation, but she's enjoying herself.

They upgrade to a faster carousel next, both of them in separate seats they barely fit into already, but they’re holding hands between their seats as they fly through the air and Lou laughs, head thrown back and her hair tousled by the wind.

The stop for more cotton candy is short - Lou has apparently never had any, and Debbie almost loses her mind when she tells her, and now she finds she really has to make up for that. They try a different flavor and soon Lou has scraps of blue sugar stuck to her lips and cheeks and nose, and Debbie kisses every piece away. Lou is blushing wildly when Debbie kisses her nose and Debbie grins, adoring the shy smile on Lou’s face.

Then, there’s no holding Lou when they reach the first roller-coaster and she excitedly tugs Debbie towards the queue, absolutely unbothered by the waiting time.

While Debbie screams in the ride, out of habit, Lou is laughing, hands in the air at every twist and turn. She looks free and, most importantly, happy, when Debbie turns to look at her for a few quick seconds. The adrenaline leaves them both laughing and blushed and hungry for more, and Debbie happily follows Lou from one ride to the next, the excitement on Lou's face very much child-like. It suits her, Debbie thinks, and then she's seemingly incapable of taking her eyes off Lou after that realization.

 

They spend several hours there, and finally, when the sun begins to set, they are walking towards the ferris wheel, and even Lou, in her absolute bliss, rolls her eyes at how cheesy that scenery is, but Debbie won’t hear it. She leads Lou into the car and once they’re seated, she opens her arms for Lou to snuggle into.

She follows Debbie’s unspoken invitation without a second thought, the feeling of Debbie around her the most comforting thing in the world, and they lean against each other, one of Debbie’s hands in her hair, the other resting on her legs that are draped over Debbie’s knees.

When they stop almost on top, allowing someone else to leave or enter the ride, Debbie presses a soft kiss to Lou’s forehead, the hand in her hair continuing to gently comb through the blonde strands.

Lou smiles at the gesture and turns her head, her hand finding Debbie’s cheek to stroke her thumb over her cheekbone as she leans up, catching her lips in a soft kiss.

When they break apart, Debbie rests her forehead against Lou’s, smiling broadly. Lou looks up at her through long lashes and that blonde fringe, already getting too long again. “I love you, you know that right?” Lou asks her hesitantly, and Debbie's smile only grows bigger.

“Yes, I know, Lou," she says and presses another kiss to Lou’s forehead, feeling her relax in her arms.

 

When they go back two weeks later to pull the job, they give each other a fond smile before getting out of the car.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, and if you have any prompts/ideas, feel free to drop them in my tumblr ask (loumillerlesbian)


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